WRITE DOWN 3 TO 5 QUESTIONS about something you see in her online dating profile or your email exchanges.
Even if you’re good at keeping a conversation going with a girl & especially if you’re not, you should read over her internet dating profile. Then write down 3 to 5 questions about things in her profile that you’d like to know.
It’ll only take a couple minutes to jot down these questions and it’ll really help the conversation go much smoother.
Tips to come up with some good questions:
Look for something in her profile or photos that you’d genuinely like to know more about. Write that question down.
Look for something in her profile that SHE seems to be interested in. A profile is only a small glimpse into her life so if she wrote about something specific that stands out, there’s a good chance that it’s really important to her. Write that question down. That can be a great way to get to know her and keep the conversation flowing.
Look for things in her profile that you two have in common. Are you both into fitness? Are you both into photography? Do you both happen to like something wacky like eating pickle & peanut butter sandwiches? What are you gonna do? That’s right. Write that question down! Don’t bring up too many commonalities though. That can come off needy. So to balance things out move on to Tip #4.
Look for something in her profile to make fun of her about. Is she making a silly pose in a photo? Did she read the Twilight Series Vampire Books? Make fun of her about it. Write that down! Don’t go overboard with this though, it can backfire if you keep making fun of her.
If you’re looking for something specific in a girl be sure to ask a few qualification questions. A qualification question is a way of screening a girl for qualities you’re looking for.
For Example: If you’re looking for a girl that likes to go out, socialize and party some questions you can ask are:
- So what do you usually do on the weekends?
- Do you have a big group of friends?
Ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions require more than a yes or no answer. This encourages conversation. Even if you ask a yes or no question, you can turn it into an open ended question by getting them to further explain the yes or no answer.
Time for some examples:
I just checked out a girls profile on Match.com. I came up with these questions you can use as a guide. See if you can figure out which tip I used to come up with which question:
- Example Question #1
Wow! You’re getting your Master’s degree, congratulations. That must be difficult. You sure you have time for a guy?
I like to take something from the girls profile and question if she has time for me. I do this because it always gets the girl to qualify herself. She’ll start giving me reasons why she does have time for me.
(This is a qualification question.)
Example Question #2
What do you do for work? I see it says “other” on your Match profile. Espionage!?!? Are you a spy?
I asked that because the girl is being silly by calling herself a Russian Commie Bastard in her profile.
(This question is meant to be playful. Playfulness = Good)
- Example Question #3
I see you like poetry. Me too. I’m a big fan of Pablo Neruda & Billy Collins. You ever hear of them?
I asked this because she said she liked poetry and I happen to be a poetry fan myself. It looks like I’m breaking my own rule here about not asking a yes or no question but I’d quickly follow-up with: Who are your favorite poets?
(This is a commonality question.)
- Example Question #4
You take a million photographs? I just bought a Nikon D90. It’s like a little ball of complicatedness. What kind of camera do you have?
I asked this because she said she takes a million photographs & some of her photos are very good. People like to be recognized for something they put work into.
(This is a commonality question & recognizing something in her profile she likes.)
- Example Question #5
What’s with the model dog wearing the hat? What do you think he’s thinking under there?
I asked this because she had a photo of her dog in a few photos wearing a silly hat and she mentioned her dog in her profile. She must really like her dog so she’d probably be happy to talk about the little pup and I’m interested in hearing about this hat wearing doggy.
(This is a playful question & recognizing something in her profile she likes.)
- Example Question #6
What’s with the dorky red Kango hat?
I asked this because she was, well, wearing a dorky red hat.
(This is another playful question and meant to balance out the commonality questions by making fun of her for something.)
Now if at any time during your conversation you need to be reminded about something awesome to talk about to keep the conversation going -BAM- you have your small list of 3 to 5 questions.
Go back to the 7 Steps to an Awesome First Phone Conversation.